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Does He Cheat and blame you?

deeSecrets Love Solutions Wednesday, November 27th 2013.

Low self-esteem and self-worth create issues with men.  Some of the side effects that happened when a man suffers from low self-esteem or feeling that he are unworthy, undeserving, the side effects are he cheats and he blames you.  He blames the woman in his life for all the problems in the relationship or why the relationship fell apart.  That is typical behavior.  So if your man is cheating on you or he’s blaming you for everything, I can guarantee the root of the problem is his issue and it comes down to his self-esteem.


                             The tricky thing is he’s trying to distinguish a man who has self-esteem and low self-worth because the lower their self-esteem, the more brazen they are.  Meaning, they brag about themselves, they toss themselves up all the time, the more they do that, the deeper-rooted feelings are about being unworthy and having low self-esteem.


                             When you begin to understand this, when you have a man that is not treating you right, you can step back and go, “Wait a minute, this is not my fault.  I did not do this!”  I’ve even had examples of men blaming the woman in their life for why they cheated.  So, when you have that happening, something is going on and it’s not about you, it’s about his self-esteem.


                             One of the things that will happen is if you’re with a man for a very long or you went through a relationship and broke up with a man who has low self-esteem; you end up walking away with your self-esteem destroyed.  Because he has blamed you for everything that has gone wrong, that it’s your fault, that it’s your personality, that you do this, that you do that, and that’s why I can’t be with you.  That’s nothing more than a count of excuse.  He can’t face the responsibility for what he does to destroy the relationship because that means he is attacking himself and a man with low self-esteem is to a point where he feels bad about himself that he speaks out ways to put people down so he feels better about himself, so that’s the reason.


                             If he’s cheating, his disrespecting you, the other level of that is a man with low self-esteem cheats because he doesn’t feel good enough about himself or feel sexy enough, attractive enough that he speaks out to get other conquest and to be self-assured by women wanting him in a physical desire way.  So, that’s another layer of why men cheat.


                             If you’re getting blamed for everything, that it’s your fault, that you did this, that you did that, and that’s what caused the end of the relationship, take a step back.  Look at the big picture.  Really look at his comments and things that have come out of his mouth over the time that this has happened.  Has he blamed you, has he at some point told you that you deserve better, he doesn’t gave you enough time, that he’s a challenge, whatever it is.  Those are red flags.  That’s him warning you, “I have self-esteem.  I am worthless and you’re crazy for being with me,” is what he sees and what he says for himself in his head.  So be forewarned about that.  He’s giving you a forewarning of, “I’m going to be destructive to this relationship,” that’s what those words are.


                             So, the main thing to get out of this is to not let it destroy your self-esteem.  Because what women will do is they will blame themselves, “Okay, it is my fault!”  We don’t need anybody else to give us the blame because we already do that by nature.  You know, we take responsibility for everything fallen apart or didn’t work when it’s not necessarily our fault at all.  But what it does, if you walk away from the situation feeling like it is your fault and then you have someone else on top of that that’s telling you it’s your fault.




                             So, you have deteriorated your self-esteem and your self-worth.  You feel like a failure, you feel like you messed it up, it’s all your fault, and so then you move forward and now you’re someone who suffers from low self-esteem and what do you speak out.  You speak out to reassurance from him.  Maybe you want to try to be friends with him.  You really do try to speak that out.  Do you speak out that feeling that makes us feel good and that’s being close to the one that we love whether they’re being nice towards us or not.  And sometimes you get disappointed to know the self-esteem has been abused enough and broke down enough.  We want him to not be nice to us, that’s what we want to hear from him.  So we want to be abused to a degree.


                             Men will do this too with their self-esteem.  If you experienced this because I’ve seen this many times, a man will break up with a woman and go be with someone who is absolutely mean to them and abuses them, get nasty to him, tell them that they don’t like them, they’re not interested to them, they cheat on him.  He speaks out that woman that just abuses him and he does that because he doesn’t feel like he’s worthy enough to have anything good in his life.  And he has done enough self-deprecating that now he looks for someone else to basically do that deprecation for him.  It seems that drug inside of him to put himself down to say, “I’m not worthy,” which is really opposite of what he says out in his world.  His entire world is, “You suck.  You’re not good enough.  You don’t deserve anything.  Anyone that’s with you is stupid to even be around you.”  Those are the words he hears inside of his head.


                             So he speaks out of a woman that says those word because that’s what he thinks is right and that’s what he feels comfortable.  So understand that if you have a man who just walked out of your life and has went to be with a man who is not being an abusive, he has some self-esteem issues.  He has some issues of his own self-worth.  And more than likely, he blames you for all the problems that it’s your entire fault why the relationship fell apart.  It’s your fault why he has cheated, that you were cold or whatever.  A man with low self-esteem and low self-worth will not take responsibility for his actions and what they do, the repercussions and who they destroy and who they hurt.  He will not do that.  He will not face them.  He will run away from them and hide.


                             So, if you have a man who cuts people out of his life, he usually has done something that was damaging or destructive to that friendship and so, “We’ll I just don’t want him.  I just cut him out of my life.  I don’t need him anymore!”  When usually what had happened, he has done something that he won’t take responsibility for so he runs away from it.


                             So, understanding men with low self-esteem has multiple layers.  But when it comes to a relationship with you trying to recognize and taking a step back, it will keep your sanity and the situation and keep you from losing your self-esteem and your self-worth because a woman that loses her self-esteem and self-worth after a relationship finds it very hard to move on.  You have to find your inner goddess, be the goddess, stay the goddess and don’t ever waiver from that.  He is supposed to come to you and be subservient to you, not you chasing him.


                             So, build your self-esteem, recognize his low self-esteem and keep yourself in a praise where only the goddess shines.