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Last night with this particular client, after three short calls I was able to tune into my clients boyfriend to the fullest extent. On the first call, I would have seen some shadows of his emotional self, and with this was able to see a portion of my client's partner's intentions. There was still a good part of him missing, and that part was, the long term feeling on what his views on long term commitments are, over a time frame, linking into a type of behavior cycle that would have shown me, whether he is dependably yours or not.
To me, this is not about 'spying' on your lover or partner, but learning to understand how your actions affect his behavior and your relationship, and what you can do to improve your communication, and your understanding of why he chooses to stay in this relationship with you..
The process in giving an empathic reading goes something like this for me:
I tune into a feeling in his core, and the part I find that day, is something I usually identify with in myself for that day. In essence I use empathy to identify something that needs discovery in myself through others. There is also the Theory of Mirror Neurons that plays into this, which is our natural, non-psychic ability to attune to a person's needs through our own anticipation or my mimicry of someone else's actions or needs. This neuroscientific discovery has been heralded as the important reason as to why we help or feel compassion to our fellow humans.
Yet still, this does not explain why I attune to just one of his thoughts out of the cascade of thoughts or emotions I also feel, and I choose to identify with this emotion of his. Some of this has to do with my state of mind, but it's like a key, unlocking further associations to his center or soul. This one feeling I identify with may trigger a flood of associations I will choose to follow to go into the depth of my reading.
At this point, it will feel like I am inside of this person's emotional body. It really feels like I am this person. It's like I am 'in that person's shoes'. I will feel his anger, his frustration, and then usually, his affection for you. Sometimes I have to navigate through all the 'muck' first, getting through the partner's insecurities and fears first, before I can give you all the good news about your relationship, as people tend to worry a lot, and these surface feelings are what I pick up first.
This may not be comfortable if I do not like the energy or quality of the person I am attuning to. There are times when it is difficult to read someone who is in a depression, or a person who is very angry.
Fortunately, when the call ends, I am able to sever the tie ( I am able to also sever the tie by just speaking with you directly, thus redirecting my energy onto something else ).
Through all the readings I have done, I have come to realize a lot of our clients shop from reader to reader get detailed answers to their questions. I would like to share with you, how I realized tonight how helpful it has been for me to know my clients over a longer period of time. This is because I am able to step into their partner's feelings, and also note the way his moods cycle over time. This gives me a much more valuable perspective than the one time call. Though with the one time call, with a name or no question, I can tell you a good deal about this man and about how he feels about you, but I do believe there is value in watching a person grow.
I would personally never base an important decision about something or someone I care for by a reader if I didn't know the reader well ( I would use my own gut feeling for that ) but to confirm my feelings, I would probably call a reader more than once, so that they can get to know my partner and like I do, learn to understand him, and what makes him the person he is.
Sometimes, it's about getting to know that person who hides behind that persona. Mystery is healthy in a relationship, it is a natural boundary. Yet when it is used to control, manipulate or hurt someone, it doesn't remain innocuous. I was very pleased I was able to help these clients over a period of time, as they had grown immensely with me, and we all got to know each other and their partners so much more, thus making a decision in sound mind and of good conscience.
We also realized, that their partner is much healthier than what was first assumed, that those first glimpses I had, were only snapshots of a bad day he was having, but that over time, he was still loyal, and loved her. That is the real value in a relationship, and I would rather assure you even better insight over the long haul, that in simply one quickie reading! Fortunately, I read rather fast, you wont have to spend a lot of money to get an idea.
***I would suggest phoning when you are both having a good day, then calling me again when he has withdrawn, and calling me again when you are both having a normal day, but when he may seem depressed. That may be enough for me to work with to give you an accurate 90% read on what he feels, compared to a quicker one time reading, which may only catch tresses of his emotional selves, and pick up maybe 60% of him at first glance.