Bri Sunday, April 28th 2013.

schedule callalert call

Recently, I've had a number of clients with questions about relationships with mixed signals.  Relationships, even in the most beginning stages, start because there is some kind of deeper connection.  Some connections of course, are stronger or, let's say, more spiritual than others.

Now, sometimes I have a client who doesn't understand why all of a sudden, their love interest has completely pulled back from them.  The client already knows intuitively, that this person cares for them, and there is a strong connection there.  I confirm this for them, which is why they often fight me on the next part...

A strong connection may be there, but if the person is spiritually and emotionally not at the same level as you, nothing can really happen.  Please understand, you may be non-chalant and put up a front about how much you care for the person, but it doesn't matter.  Spiritually and emotionally, you are at a higher intensity than the other person, no matter how much you cover it up in your dealings with him/her.

The response to your intensity is often subconscious.  Usually, the person doesn't even know why he/she is pulling away, they just need to.  Intuitively and unconsciously, they are feeling that intensity and are unable to match it.  By coming at them with that level of spiritual energy, they are in turn, challenged to match it.  If they can't, they back down.

The outcome of such a situation can go one of two ways.  In both situations however, you must reflect on your feelings and mentally collect all of that high-strung energy into something more balanced and controlled.  Lower the intensity and resign yourself to the fact that you must also lower your expectations.  Once you have done this, the other person will very often find themselves able to come back around to you.  They intuitively feel less of a challenge and pressure because they have a lower intensity they need to match.

Now you are able to function in a relationship with this person on the level they are ready for.  This often means a fun, more carefree companionship, more than a serious commitment.  Sometimes the relationship can go no further than this fun, light experience because the person is simply not at a point spiritually where they can move past their current level.

Sometimes though, your choice to lower your energy and spiritual intensity allows the person to ease into a gradual process of slowly moving into higher intensity and commitment with you.

The point is, you must understand that just because I tell you there is a great connection, does not mean that the person can and will act on it.  When I tell you this, I am not contradicting myself.  These two things are simultaneously possible.

Your choice, in the end, is whether you are willing to lower your intensity level and your expectations. If you are not, then you must give up this person and realize that someone else will come along to match you.  This is where, more than anything else, your advisor can come in.  Your advisor can help you figure out if your expectation level is too high in general, or if the person you are lowering your energy for, is worth your time.  The answer to this differs for everyone, according to where they are in their lives and what they want.

All in all, let your advisor tell you what they feel.  Do not fight them because someone is giving you positive signals.  If you are calling about them, if they are giving you any reason to be unsure, let your advisor explain why.  Do not challenge them to match what you want to be going on.

Best of luck!