Someone to talk too

Posted by:  Gordon Scarritt
Wednesday, September 22nd 2010.

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Every once in a while we experience a state of confusion so great that we don't understand how to move through it and we become stuck. These are the moments when it is advisable to ask for help, and the sooner the better.Confusion is actually a form of resistance to what is. The longer we resist, the longer the confusion persists. The longer the resistance persists, the more energy we waste and the weaker our body and mind become. It is a downward spiral, that doesn't need to be.
 
Our mind will tell us that so much is wrong, that it will take forever to make all the changes required to overcome the confusion, but this is not true. Actually only one thing needs to happen to break out of this state, we simply need to allow the confusion to be. The attitude of allowing instantly dissolves resistance, because resistance will only arise in the absence of allowing. "But how do I allow?" That is the question I receive the most from my clients.

I recognize that sometimes it is hard to allow. We are all conditioned to resist experience we don't want. We are practically paralyzed by this habit. Our body is tense and tight, our emotions are frozen in despair, and our mind is locked in a loop of negative thought and belief. When you recognize these symptoms, it is time to ask for help. 

The first form of help is to share your distress with another, some one who has experience with moving through these states, both personally and professionally. This process of talking about what is happening frees the mind from the loop of negative thinking. The guide's role here is to point out how you are misperceiving, how you believe your negative thoughts, and that those thoughts are not necessarily true.

Secondly and most importantly the guide can help you to allow by directing your awareness inward, to the feelings and sensations of the experience right now. The guide will remind you to stop trying to control the experience. It is the need to control that causes the resistance to arise.

Allowing involves deep listening, being kinesthetically connected to experience through all our senses. This breaks the cycle of identifying with thoughts and unrealistic expectations of how things are supposed to be. Allowing promotes relaxation and relaxation facilitates the flow of energy in the mind/body. This in turn helps us to stay present to what is, to be in the moment. Developing confidence in our ability to allow everything to be is the most effective antidote to resistance, to being stuck in confusion or any other negative state.